Can you tell me, do I end up happy?
by The Dream Is Real
Summary: Set post-iLove You. The clock struck midnight and the breakup was inevitable but the feelings are still very much alive. What will Sam and Freddie do to make it work again? A story about love and loss and the timeless question, "Do I end up happy?"
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I always adored the relationship Sam had with Freddie, pre-romance & pure love-hate friendship. It was just so ... FUN! They were so fun, the way they bickered and had occasional moments of approval and even acceptance of each other. And then iOMG happened and they dropped that bomb and I think I near exploded with joy. Even if it was only official for a few episodes, I noticed long before iOMG and I'm still noticing following iLove You... :'( But nevertheless, the romance is there and I ship it like a little crazy bitch. I also love the happiness reading fanfictions about my ships brings me and the hilarity as I attempt my own, which brings me to here. This is my Seddie fan fic. I've only ever published one fan fic and it was a oneshot for Inception, and this Seddie fan fic was going to be a oneshot but there was just too much to go into one chapter. So now it will possibly be a story with chapters! Woo! Hehe. Ok, so this is set immediately after the break up in iLove You. Please be accepting, this is only my second attempt at a fanfic and while it's daunting, I'm also really passionate about because I see it as really really good practice for my writing. Which is fantastic. Because I love writing. So I appreciate the feedback, and in the words of Goopy Gilbert, 'SEDDDDDDDDDDIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!'**  
><strong>now let's bring this momma to life.<strong>

**Oh and one last thing. If you do leave feedback, could you express whether or not you prefer the story to be set out like the A/N or how it is now. Meaning normally typed or spaced out. Because I got a tip in a review of my last fan fic, suggesting I should space out the lines, so it's easier to read. I'm not sure if I still like it. Anyway, please please please let me know your opinion! Much appreciated amigos :)**

**Disclaimer: Sadly, I don't own iCarly or any of their glorious characters or any of the even more glorious SEDDIE :'( I know, it's heartbreaking, I try not to think about it too much. Also I don't own the song 'Happily Ever After' by He Is We which I am drawing inspiration from. Which is also heartbreaking. Because I love them.**

**Rated T: As a precaution because sometimes I swear and I honestly don't think I can replace every swear word with 'chiz' or I'll go mad. Sorry kiddies.  
><strong>

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><p><em>Let me riddle you a ditty, it's just an itty bitty, little thing on my mind. About a boy and a girl, trying to take on the world one kiss at a time.<em>

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><p><strong>Freddie's POV<strong>

My pearphone began to ring, pulling us out of the dream state we were existing in. The kisses became more urgent, laced with longing, saddness and regret. The pearphone kept

singing, getting louder every second I failed to press the 'dismiss' button. We both knew what it meant. Sam pulled together the willpower that I couldn't and she pulled away, sitting

back on the beanbag we were sharing. Her eyes scavenged over my face, before she pulled me into a tight hug.

"It's midnight, Freddork," She whispered. I shivered as I felt the warmth of her breath on my neck.

"I know," I replied, burying my face in her golden curls.

The pearphone rung louder this time as Sam untangled herself from my arms shouting at the phone, "Yeah, yeah, WE GET IT, IT'S MIDNIGHT!"

I smirked, although it was short lived as I reached for it and turned off the alarm I had set in the lift back up to the studio. It really was midnight. It really was the end of ... us.

"I will try, you understand?" Sam said softly, holding her hand to my cheek.

"What, to be more normal?" I asked, looking into those amazing blue eyes that had captivated me the first time we met.

"What else, nub?"

"You don't have to do that." I replied, leaning into her hand.

"Yeah, I kinda do."

"Why?" I asked her.

"Because I love you, is that really not clear?" She smiled, a mix of amusement, sadness and fatigue.

"It's just, I don't think that you should change who you are, especially not because of me."

"I put myself in a mental institution because of you. I filled a man's car with bee's for you. There aren't many things I wouldn't do for you, Fredweird."

"But I fell in love with this you." I said, taking her beautiful face in my own hands.

"Then why are we broken? Because I'm not normal enough, I'm too messed up in the head." She asked me definitively.

"Sam, don't say tha-" I started.

"It's true." She interrupted, "I know who I am, I know what I am, and I know that because of that I'm about to walk out this door and you're not going to stop me."

She reached up and brought my hands that still held her face back to my side, interlacing our fingers and giving my hands a gentle squeeze.

"Sam..."

"Look, I'm saying all this because you are YOU, kind and funny and sweet and I'm ME. That girl who beats people up and makes them cry and leaves them bruised and destroys their

toy model trains, which might I add they are kind of embarrasingly attached to. Just saying."

"It's not an embarrasing attachment, it is an honourable hob-" I muttered, hurriedly.

"Nobody cares, baby." She laughed quietly, shaking her head. She had such a enchanting laugh.

"Right.." I said, accepting defeat.

"Freddie, I just want to be the girl you deserve."

"You are!"

"Then why isn't it enough?" She asked, her eyes shining with confusion and her voice beginning to crack as she spoke.

"Well, have you ever thought that maybe it's me that's the problem?" I said.

"You could never be the problem." Sam replied without hesitation.

"All I want is for YOU to be happy. Why can't it be me that changes?"

"Because I'm not worth it."

"Sam, you are worth EVERYTHING to me." I said, leaning forward and resting my forehead on hers. We stayed like this for a minute, and to be honest, I would have stayed like that

for the rest of my life. But Sam retreated, untangling her fingers from mine and raising her head to place a soft kiss on my forehead. I could feel my throat burning, and my vision

began to blur, my self-control struggling to hold back the emotions that were waiting to erupt. Sam slowly turned around and began walking towards the door. Every step seemed

like a struggle, almost painful. And with each of her steps came a hole in my heart, growing bigger the further she went. When she reached the door of the studio, she stopped

abruptly and stood there, as if all the life had been drained from her and all that was left was a statue. Lingering.

"I really do, you know that right?" Sam said, her back still to me and her head hung.

"You really do what?" I asked.

"Love you," She replied, looking back at me one, eyes glistening.

"Yeah, I know," I said quietly, "I love you too."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Anything."

"Would you wait for me?"

"I'll always wait for you."

Once again she turned her back on me, her breaths short, sharp and jarringly uneven. Almost as if she were crying.

"Good. I'll see you around Benson." And with one unsure nod, she lifted her head up high and walked away.

She was gone. And the reality came crashing down around me.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: So, chapter 2! Sorry, on the off chance that people might actually care, for the delay in the second chapter. I've been back at school for almost 6 weeks now and starting year 11 and basically all my free time has been basically spent on school, homework, assignments, catching up on sleep I haven't had and catching up on eating breakfast and other meals I have to skip, thanks to good old school. But here it is! I've never written a chapter 2 before! And I would just like to send all my love and thanks to everyone who took the time to read my story! All the notifications I was getting sent to my email saying 'STORY ALERT' and 'FAVOURITE STORY' honestly made me squeal like a little fan girl and totally made my day. And to all those who took even more time to review, thank you, thank you, thank you! It was a real confidence booster and I adore you, I really do. You guys rock! Anyway, enough of my babbling, if I remember correctly, there is a story to be written!**  
><strong>Adios, amigos!<strong>

**P.S. And this is the last thing, I swear! I apologise for my spelling of 'mum' as opposed to 'mom'. I'm Australian, what can I say.**

**Disclaimer: As much as I would love it, no I did not create iCarly or any of the characters nor do I own them but I try not to talk about it. Still hurts :P I also do not own 'Happily Ever After' by He is We, which I am drawing inspiration from. Kind of. As in, I'm kind of drawing inspiration from the song rather than I kind of do not own the song/band. Right.**

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><p>Now the funny thing about, ain't a story without it, but the story is mine. And I wish you could say, that it ended just fine.<p>

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><p><strong>Freddie's POV<strong>

It took all I had to not run after her, and beg her to stay with me. Instead I sat there, my head in my hands trying to fight back my own tears. In my head, the breakup was logical, reasonable! We didn't share enough common interests, I liked model trains and she liked the explosions that model trains made when they collided. The explosions when they

collided. Me and Sam... God, if that breakup was so right for us, then why the hell does it feel so wrong? My brain is accepting it, but my heart... There are these stabbing pains, an

aching. A longing that only one person could ever quell, the girl who I just let walk away.

"How can one person be so STUPID?" I asked myself, infuriated as I stood up and crossed the studio to the lift. I let out a frustrated yell, almost breaking the call button on the lift as my fist came in contact, with as much anger propelling it forward as when somebody gets in the way of Sam and a fatcake. Better yet, Sam and a _Canadian_ fatcake. Sam…

The lift 'dings', as it announced its arrival. The sound was almost cheerful, as if it were happy to remind me of what events had transpired in the boundaries of its walls. I glared at it as the door rolled upwards, inviting me in. It wasn't until I reached for the 'G' button with all the poison I could transfer to my poised finger that the sudden exhaustion of the last few hours washed over me, and I realized how ridiculous it was to be treating a lift like it was a home-wrecker. Everything began to blur together as I subconsciously played back all my memories of Sam. I didn't notice anything else until a wall of icy cold air and drips of water tugged me back into reality, and I couldn't help but laugh bitterly when I realized where I was, standing on the fire escape where Sam and I had had our first secret kiss.

"Fredward? Fredward dear, is that you?" My mother's quivering voice asks, echoing through the apartment.

"Ye… yeah." I cleared my throat.

"Fredward! Come back inside this instant!" I turned around to see my mother standing at the window, wide-eyed and baseball bat in hand, "_When little boys are out in the drizzles…"_

"_They will surely get the sniffles," _I finished, smiling softly, "I know mum."

I kissed her cheek as I climbed back inside, murmuring a quiet _'good night'._ She reached for my hand before I could walk away.

"Is everything alright, Freddie-bear?" Her eyes searched mine, warm with motherly affection.

"Yep, everything's great." I lied.

"And … How's Samantha?" I could tell she was still having a little trouble with the idea of sharing me with another person but she would go out of her way to make an effort.

"I uh... We're not… You know, we're not _together_ anymore." It burned to say it, a heavy weight on my tongue. I saw a fire ignite in her eyes as she raised her baseball bat and I let out a small laugh, lowering the weapon with my hand. "It was … mutual."

"I'm sorry, dear." She said, her voice filled with sincerity as she pulled me into a tight hug. "I know you really loved her." My chest grew tight and the breaths short and ragged.

"Thanks mum," I mumbled croakily, withdrawing from the embrace. "I think I'm just going to, you know … go to bed."

She placed a light kiss on my forehead and watched me as I dragged myself down the hallway and into my room, shutting the door behind me. I couldn't find the energy or the will to change out of my clothes, instead stumbling through the darkness that consumed my room until my shins collided with the frame of my bed. I crawled under the covers and buried my face in amongst my pillow. I retrieved my phone from my pocket, flinching at the bright light that blinded me as I unlocked it.

_12:57 am_, it read. 57 minutes. For 57 minutes, Sam and I had been broken up. And every second was more unbearable than the last. I couldn't take it!

I carelessly threw my phone down next to me, my mind too busy to comprehend the 'crack' that filled the silence of night when it landed. I kept playing back through our last moments together before midnight. That feeling when my stupid phone had to break us apart. The look in her eyes when she told me that she wasn't worth it. She was perfect. And I couldn't let her throw that away, not over me. _Especially_ not over me.

No, _I _would be the one to change. I saw the beginnings of a plan begin to form in my mind. I was going to get back to her. I was going to get Sam Puckett back.

And I wouldn't fail.

I couldn't. 

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><p><strong>Well that's chapter 2! I hope you guys liked it, and if not well, thanks for reading it anyway I'm going to really try to update quicker, but god knows I'm terrible at being organized. Next chapter I'm switching to Sam's POV, for her reaction the break up and then from there, i'm going to alternate each chapter :) Also, from all the feedback, I tried to play around with the spacing, so I hope it was alright! I think that's all :)<strong>

**Until next time, amigos!**


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